Preying Manti Sports

Despite Win, Coaching Turmoil Clouds Bears' Future

By Larry Horse

Mon Nov 13, 2:29 AM CT

CHICAGO (Reuters) - The SEARCH
Chicago Bears sounded out a warning to the rest of the NFC with a 38-20 mauling of the New York Giants on Sunday. However, the NFC are not the only ones that were warned on Sunday evening.

Assistant Coach Jeff Goldstein (pictured left) was formally admonished after the game by head Coach Lovie Smith. Goldstein did not join fellow assistants Mike Eagan and Dave Roeing at the pre-determined offsite location and this did not site well with Coach Smith who's comments left little room for ambiguity after the game.

"We are a good football team, and we did a lot of good football things tonight, but we also did some bad football things as well. I place blame squarely on the shoulders of Assistant Coach Goldstein. We really need to make sure he is truly on board this season."

These comments come at a very innorportune time for Goldstein (pictured right) who was arrested earlier last week for lewd and indecent behavior in public. All sources say that he was found to be "having too much sex with fire hydrants".

Also troublesome for Goldstein is that the team continues to win when he does not join Coach Roeing and Coach Eagan during game time. They are 6-0 when the trio meet for the game and a lowly .500 when he manages to attend.

It is obvious Coach Goldstein has some fence mending to do.

Even Assistant Coach Roeing had some harsh words for the besieged coach:

"Pfft... Pfft... Pfft..."

"I have a hair on my tongue, and you put it there Jeff Goldstein..."

"You put the kybosh on my deal, and now I'm going to put the kybosh on you!"

The events of this Sunday have determined two things:

1. The Bears are the real deal, a force to be reckoned with.
2. Assistant Coach Goldstein had better shape up, or the Bears might just let him go the way of David Terrell, disgraced and embarassed.

Assistant Coach Matt Mroz (pictured right) could not be reached for comment by the time of publish.